I remember I was watching an Oprah Winfrey Show and she recalled one moment when she went to a beauty salon. This lady placed her hands on her face and Oprah Winfrey just felt a shudder of love go through her whole body.
She never felt anything like it in a beauty salon before. At the end of it she stopped and she said, "That was the most magnificent thing that has ever happened. Can you tell me what the heck were you doing? It was bizarre." And this woman said something very interesting. She said Oprah, "My whole life I've known my calling." And Oprah says, "Well, I talk about calling. I'm a big fan of that."
Overcoming Fear & Shame
She said, "No Oprah, my whole I had to overcome the shame and the guilt and the judgments of others to follow my calling." And Oprah said, "What is your calling?"
She said, "Since I was a little kid, the only thing I have ever loved doing is extractions." Now if you don't know what extractions are, it's a fancy way of saying popping pimples. It's just a fancy dressed up way of saying, she likes to get black head out of pores. She like to pop pimples.
Now everyone thought she was crazy when she told her friends at school. She talked about and they'd say it's disgusting, it's gross and she just put it away in the shadow. She's embarrassed by it. She went and got a day job, did whatever it is. Then one day she said, "Stuff this, I don't care about other people's opinions. I'm going for it. I'm going to honour my calling."
So she started popping pimples for a fee.
An Easy Way To Find Out Your Values
A great way to find your values is if you've got three hours spare in the afternoon... think about what are you going to spend it on?
The woman on Oprah would no doubt be looking for pores. That's all she'd be doing.
I spend it hanging out with my daughters and my wife, or writing programs. I love writing content. I'm up till four, five in the morning sometimes (well a lot of the time!). I just love it. The thing that lights me up is how quickly can I get you to learn something. It's a little-bit selfish but that really buzzes me.
In the beginning it was making money, doing what I love for sure. Back ten years ago I wanted to know that I could get paid to change people's lives, but nowadays for me it's how fast can I teach you something and you fully understand it. I find that just a fascinating driver. It's like soul-food. When I see that someone "got it" and I see their whole world expand..
I eat that, that little millisecond when someones eyes just open and their pupils go a little-bit bigger just for that moment. I love it and I want to see how quickly you can get it. So that's what I'm doing. Everyday I'm trying to get better at delivering information. That's what drives me so that you can learn it quicker and then whether you apply it or not, I can't do anything about that.
Self Help Vs. Shelf Help
You got to apply it, right? You can ask us for help, and we'll help you but if you're not going to apply things then that's on you. A lot of people take home manuals from courses and just use them as "shelf development".
That's where you take the manual home, you slide it in your shelf and when your friends come around, you show them your shelf and you show them all this incredible knowledge that your shelf is now benefiting from.
We're not interested in "shelf help".
We're interested in "self help" and I hope you understand the distinction. So my job is to get you to have the epiphany. Your job is to apply it.
We'll help you apply it but you got to take the action to do that. So that's what I really love about it but this woman.
Now Oprah finished and she said, "that's the best thing I've ever experienced, would you like to come on my show and talk to a few people about it."
Now if you don't understand how the Oprah Winfrey Show works, if you go on the show there is just a "small" increase in your results. Just a small one. She's now one of the most successful beauty salons in America. Millions and millions of dollars going through that business now because she dedicated her life to her calling.
She gave up judgment, shame and guilt and replaced it with the things she loved the most: popping pimples and that's it.
A Simple Truth About Fear & Shame
Forget shame, forget guilt, forget judgment, forget fear. Just do your thing because no matter what you do, someone's not going to like you. I don't know if you know that about the world. No matter what you do on planet Earth, someone is not going to like you. It's just the simple facts of the whole thing.