Want to learn how to deal with haters? Watch the video below and read on!
When it comes to haters, I know there are some people out there that say not to worry too much. They say if you’re getting haters, the more you must be on path.
When you start reaching 500, 5,000 or 500,000 people on social media, you’re sure to get some people who just don’t like you for whatever reason. You will get some comments that are just nasty.
But you’re also going to get some comments that are half nasty but half true, and you have to filter out the pearl of wisdom within the hate there.
I’ve had comments on social media which are half nasty but the other half, I take on board your criticism. And I found whenever any type of conflict happens such as the conflict of haters, there’s something to learn.
How To Deal With Haters
So when learning how to deal with haters on social media or via email or a feedback form or wherever it happens to be, I’ve realised over the years that it’s good to make notes about these conflicts because it’s a learning opportunity.
And whenever this type of conflict occurs, my brain now is used to thinking All right, what do I do here?
I look at the notes in the past and I found that conflicts actually bring people closer.
It’s been my experience that whenever I have a conflict with anyone, whether it be a staff member, a participant or a student, someone on social media, a friend, a family member, etc, I now have a closer relationship with them.
So here’s how to deal with people who hate you. Understand them!
To give you an example, someone that I used to be friends with five years ago saw something that I posted on social media and for whatever reason, wrote something nasty. And that kind of hurt more because they actually know me, and I thought we were friends.
So when dealing with haters on social media, instead of me saying things to make myself feel better like, That’s just you. Don’t put your stuff on me…
That’s a projection…
Your life may not be going so well right now…
That must mean I’m successful…
Instead of me taking the high road or ‘that’s all on you’ part, what I’ve found dissolves the conflict is understanding where they’re coming from.
I found that it’s much more effective in removing the energy and the charge from the conflict. So my advice is the next time you have a conflict with anyone, just do what Stephen R Covey said in his book, “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People”:
Seek first to understand then to be understood.
So I actually put myself in their position where I am them to the degree where now I understand why they said that.
If I get to the point where I’m looking at it from someone else’s point of view, and I’m seeing myself through their eyes to the point where I feel a certain way that I would actually go out and write this comment for whatever reason… if I get why they did it now, and it makes sense, and I feel the feelings that they would have felt, as in I felt justified or whatever it is, that seems to neutralise this conflict, and now I see it from both sides.
But all of the other stuff that I used to do where I got on my high horse and just thought, that’s your stuff, it only half worked.
The bigger you get, the more haters you’ll have. That’s just a fact of life. There is no politician alive where someone doesn’t hate them. There’s no celebrity or movie star alive where someone doesn’t hate them.
So, unless you want to stay very small, you just have to start opening yourself up to this fact.
And to learn how to deal with your haters is to understand where they’re coming from because it works. I think that’s just a law of the universe because that’s a more balanced way to be understanding other people as opposed to saying that’s all you, and it’s got nothing to do with my life.
As for the other comments that are just nasty and downright rude: Delete, Block and Move On! Simple. 😉
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