I wanted to talk to you about how to build self-confidence when you're starting a business.
I get to speak with thousands of people around Australia year in year out and one of the biggest issues that I find people face when they're wanting to get started is that they lack self-confidence and it could be self-confidence around their ideas or self-confidence around their abilities or self-confidence around themselves in general.
And they often think that because of this lack of self-confidence they can never actually go out there and do anything meaningful in the world.
Now that's a real shame because these people have a beautiful kind heart, have so many gifts to give to the world but they never actually step across the line and make things happen.
So today what I would like to do is cover with you three steps or three ideas that allow you to build self-confidence.
In fact, I think they're the three essential pillars that are layered to get self-confidence no matter what you're doing. Whether it's starting a business or going out there and doing anything in life. These are sure to help you out.
So let's have a look at what these three actual pillars are.
#1. Find The Right Peer Group
I know you've probably heard this before and this is not really rocket science but there's been endless studies, study after study after study continuously proving that hanging around the right peer group of people that have actually gone out there and done the thing that you're looking to do or something similar will assist you in building confidence.
When I first got started in this industry over 10 years ago, I got my certification in Tibetan and Usui Reiki and Reiki is a healing methodology that was rediscovered in Japan by a gentlemen called Dr. Usui and so I was doing some hands on energy healing at the time and I was not confident at all.
In fact, I lacked a lot of confidence and I remember going to my first couple of sessions, I was very nervous and I didn't know what to do and I was stressing out the nights before and so on.
I mean it really was a journey and I remember I wasn't even confident to charge money.
So what I used to do is actually charge people things like a carton of milk or a box of cookies or something because part of the energetic exchange of the healing arts that I used to do was that you could never do anything for free, you had to have an exchange of some kind.
That exchange could be a gift, a hug, a card, cookies, milk, money whatever it was. But I just didn't have any confidence around actually charging people money. I mean I really struggled with that.
And that's something that I made lots of people out there really do struggle with the confidence of being able to charge for their gifts or their services and I was definitely one of them. So what I've decided to do was make a decision to take some action to change what was going on in my life because I didn't want to be one of these starving artists.
I knew that I wanted to go out there and make a big difference in the world and in order to do that, I did have to have an exchange of value with what I was providing in the marketplace.
So I decided to change my peer group, not get rid of all my friends, but just start to associate with a different bunch of people. I started to associate with people who were making a real difference out in the world and also had a high level of confidence of charging what they're worth.
Charging what we're worth in life really is one of the biggest struggles that people face. We all want to be paid what we're worth but a lot of us lack the confidence to charge what were worth.
So I made the decision to hang around a group of people that I felt charged what they're worth. And I associated with them and I talked to them and I realised that just by hanging around this peer group of people that were doing similar things to what I wanted to be doing, it actually opened up the world of possibility.
That world of possibility changed my level of self-confidence because I saw other people doing the thing I'd like to be doing and therefore it evoked that possibility and lo and behold I started to get a little bit more confidence around behaving differently around my energy healing clients. So that's the step one is to look at the peer group.
It's the very first pillar of getting self-confidence. Change your peer group, change the environment of the people you hang around, and that will start to rub off on you.
#2. Work Out The Payoff
The second pillar is to work out "the payoff". I don't mean the money or the exchange or what you're going to earn, I meant the internal payoff from that deep, deep part of yourself around what's important to you in life, what you value, what's really meaningful.
And so learning what your payoff is, for starting a new business or for doing anything really does accelerate your ability to build that self-confidence. So here's what I did to actually start to identify my payoff and then link that up so I started to build some confidence in what I was doing.
In fact, this is what I want you to do: Grab a pen and paper right now if you can.
What I'd like you to do, is I'd like you to write a list of 20 reasons why starting a business in the next few months is going to be beneficial to your life.
So why will starting a business in the next few months be beneficial to your life as a whole.
And what you're going to do is as you write out each one of these 20 things you're going to want to identify the payoff of starting your business and just knowing the payoff of an action actually assists you in building confidence around doing that action. It's a very simple process.
It boggles my mind that people are wanting to become more confident at things without doing the thing! It's just a really strange thing! You can't get more confident at playing the flute by thinking about the flute. You've got to pick the thing up and play it.
A dear friend of mine often says that you learn to play the flute by playing the flute and I couldn't agree with them more. So here's the thing. If you want to become more confident at something, my advice is to break it down into tiny little pieces and do something known as "deliberate practice".
Deliberate practice is where you break the task you want to be confident in into such a small piece that it only takes you about three or four sessions to get that small little piece of that task to a world class level. So if you break down the task you want to become more confident in or the thing you want to become more confident in into little pieces and then practice those pieces, the confidence will in fact come through.
So that is my secret behind how I develop self-confidence over the years because like you, I've been through moments in my life where I was scared of doing things, I was afraid of things I had no confidence, didn't believe in myself at all in any way, shape or form.
But just by going through these pillars of getting the right peer group and then also identifying my payoff and then actually being willing to practice then my confidence did build inside myself.