Whether we know it or not, our core beliefs have tremendous control of our lives. They are literally the rules we use (consciously or unconsciously) to determine our decisions, actions and feelings.
They can empower us to great heights or limit us through self sabotage.
As Henry Ford said: "Think you can. Think you can't. Either way you're right."
One of the most important roles of a coach, mentor, or a friend is to help people change the beliefs that are holding them back in their life. If we never take the time to examine the beliefs that we hold about the world, about people, about ourselves - we'll be doomed to experience our past, over and over again!
Over the past ten years of running my own coaching business and conducting over 10,000 - one on one coaching sessions with my clients, I found that people's beliefs are one of the major factors why they aren't living the life that they truly want to be living.
Examining your beliefs - keeping the ones that you want and changing the ones that you don't want, will allow you, your client, and your friends to live up to their true potential.
What I've learned is that once you closely examine a belief it tends to disintegrate and disappear.
What is a belief?
A belief is quite simply an acceptance that we have that something is true - usually without any proof that it is true!
Some may believe that they are generally a good person, perhaps they believe that they are capable of learning something new, these are examples of what we call "Empowering Beliefs".
On the flip side of the coin...
Some can believe that they are in some way not good enough, perhaps they believe they are a slow learner and aren't capable of learning a new skill, or perhaps they believe that other people don't listen to them or don't like them - these are examples of what we call "Dis-empowering Beliefs".
In the past, people even used to believe that the world was flat... that diseases are caused by bad smells... now we know that this is ridiculous - but this used to be considered true!
A really great way to start examining our beliefs is by asking ourselves "what do we believe to be true - that isn't...?"
Changing a belief...
I've learned many different ways to help my clients and myself change a belief - studied neurolinguistic programming techniques, I have learned how to shift sub modalities, I've learned hypnosis, I've learned affirmations, I've learned incantations - you name it, I've studied it!
As the Chinese Proverb Goes:
“There are many different paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same."
I used to get confused with which method I would use whenever I heard a client say a belief that I knew was holding them back from the life that they wanted.
I knew the importance of helping them change the belief, and how their life would instantly change, but sometimes I wouldn't use the tools I'd learned because I was too confused and I hadn't mastered and embodied one tool that consistently worked.
Then I found the belief change tool that I'm about to share with you.
It was the simplest and yet the most powerful belief change tool I had come across, in fact, it is the only system of changing beliefs that Dr. Deepak Chopra endorses, as it works on all of the 3 parts of the brain - the hind brain, mid brain and forebrain.
I decided to just use this one tool on my clients and myself for the next 12 months whenever I heard a belief come up .
The results were incredible! The tool worked 95% of the time, and each client I used it with had a shift in their life, simply by using the system.
The Belief Change Tool is composed of 7 steps:
- Is this statement 100% true?
- Are you 100% sure it is true?
- What does holding onto this belief do to you?
- Who will you become in 10 years as a result of holding on to this belief?
- What will the cost be in 10 years if this belief is not changed now?
- Who would you become and how would you act without that old belief?
- Creation of an intention card.
The last step is to help your client come up with a new belief - maybe the polar opposite of the old belief or something different, eg. "I am not good enough" then the new belief will be "I am good enough". From there, you get your client (or yourself) to write their belief either on a piece of paper, a piece of cardboard, or their phone and put it in their pocket. For the next 30 days, your client is going to SMS you their new belief, 3 times a day to keep the neural pathways in our mind firing over and over with the new belief.
I used this belief change system with a client of mine named Anne. I've been working with her around a career and getting a promotion at work for about 6 months, and then Anne came to me one day and said that she really wanted to meet her ideal man and have a passionate relationship, build a family, have children. But then she told me this: "I really want to have this relationship, but all the good men are taken".
So all I did was ask her the Belief Change Tool questions:
*Is this statement 100% true? *
YES!!! She said originally.
*Are you 100% sure it is true? *
Well, maybe not 100% (the belief is already starting to get shaken up and change).
*What does holding onto this belief do to you?
It stops me looking for men, it holds me back whenever I meet someone new from getting too close to them. It keeps me safe. I think I'm scared of being hurt.
*Who will you become in 10 years as a result of holding on to this belief?*
Lonely, I'll be own my own.
*What will the cost be in 10 years if this belief is not changed now?*
I'll never get the children I have always wanted. I will watch my girlfriends get married, have kids and start families. (She started crying) I'll be alone for the rest of my life.
*Who would you become and how would you act without that old belief?*
I would become someone who was open to a new relationship, I would go out more, I would say yes when I am asked out by men.
*Write down the new belief and asked her to create an intention card.*
I got Anne to come up with a new belief. The old belief was "All the good men in the world are taken..." we worked through it and out came a new belief "The right man is out there waiting for me".
For the next 30 days, 3 times per day she SMS'd me the new belief, with just 2 months later, Anne met a man named Michael. They were married 18 months later and are now expecting their first child.
All of this from using the 7 simple steps as questions from this belief change tool!
I hope you enjoy putting this into practice.
Read more about: Mindset