I'm often asked, "How can I stop getting angry?"
Recently I watched an interview with the Dalai Lama, and the reporter asked him, "Do you ever get angry?" He replied, "Angry..." with a big smile on his face. "Oh yes. I get so angry."
Now, the Dalai Lama continued to smile as his laugh slowly subdued, but his response was really just a memorable moment.
It was in that moment that I actually realised the only true measurement that you can actually use to see how far you've grown as a person is how long do you stay in a negative state for?
See, everyone's trying to look at a metric for personal development, and over the years I've worked in out as this. You see, the Dalai Lama has kind of cracked it. What I gained from that interview was that he was able to get angry on the inhale and happy on the exhale. Now, what a perfect balance of emotions.
Negative is actually normal. No matter what happens in life, you're going to have negative experiences, negative emotions, negative things happen, but the aim of the game is to see if you can shorten the amount of time it takes you to get back on track.
If it used to take you like three months to get back on track from a negative state, and you can get it down to two months, pat yourself on the back.
If you used to stay angry for about two weeks, now you got it down to a week, pat yourself on the back.
If you used to be angry for an entire day, and now you can get down to a couple of minutes, pat yourself on the back. The idea is just to see how quickly you can realign yourself and get back into a state of balance.
So, the next time you drop the ball in life, or you break a ritual, or you fail to follow through with a promise to yourself, don't beat yourself up or indulge in negative self talk for a second longer than necessary.
Simply start afresh by writing down the very first step that you need to take immediately to get back on track. And before you know it, you will be back on track.
Life rewards action.
In summary, do not measure your progress by how many times you got off track, but by the speed at which you get back on track.
Read more about: Mindset