Often people ask me what the “secret to my success” in life or business is. Ultimately they hope there is a special ingredient, a special sales technique or some secret magic pill they can take. This is actually half true. Let me explain why.
To achieve anything of value (be it health, financial freedom, creating a successful life coaching business etc) you need persistence. Long-term persistence can't happen if it's attached to something that changes often such as: other people's opinions the latest get rich quick scheme your emotions which fluctuate day-to-day. Therefore, you need to rely on something more permanent. The most stable (and most powerful) thing in your psychology are your values.
#1 - The Magic Pill
Values are what you deem important such as freedom, growth or control.
Your true values ultimately determine everything you think and feel. How you think (thoughts) and feel (emotions) determines how you act. And these actions determine your results in every area of your life. From your values also stems everything from your purpose, to your beliefs and goals.
When you link your goals to your true values, you will be in flow more and achieve more without strain. The one reason people succeed in life or business is that their work is aligned with their values (and the reverse is true also).
Here's an example. One night I was finishing up work at around 10pm and I was exhausted. Just as I was laying down for the night my phone rang, I could see right away it was a client. I had a decision to make at that point, either answer the phone or let it ring out. Many people would let it ring out because it was an inappropriate hour for a call, but not me, I answered it.
I answered it because I love what I do and no matter how tired I am, I always make time for what I value. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to succeed you need to work long hours. What I am saying is to succeed you need to align your work with your values. One of my highest values is service, and I get to do this on a daily basis, which inspires me to achieve even more.
#2 The Tricky Part
The biggest problems people face is not aligning their values, but discovering what they truly are in the first place.
Everyone has 2 types of values:
- Golden values - These are the ones you love to show the world. Values such as contribution or compassion.
- Shadow values - These are the ones you hide from the world due to either shame or guilt. They are usually even more powerful than your golden values. Examples include control, importance and superiority.
If you ignore the truth of these shadow values, you will only ever be half-filled instead of full-filled. What's more, you will never be able to align your TRUE values with your life or business.
How do you discover your shadow values? I have coached many people on how to do this. A very quick way is to ask yourself what you value most (without letting any shame, fear or guilt cover up the truth)
For a more in depth process, I recommend you listen to a coaching call I did with a client.
The results will shock you. You can download it here
Read more about: Mindset