Today, I want to share with you one of the most challenging obstacles that I ever had to overcome in my journey to becoming a difference-maker and doing what I loved, just like you.
For many years I didn't realize that I had unconscious blocks inside my mind that were sabotaging everything I wanted in life.
The funny thing about self-sabotage is:
“We don't quite know WHY we do it, but we certainly DO know that we are doing it…”
The number one obstacle in people's lives is the very person they see in the mirror every day.
Here’s an example...
I had a vision that:
- I wanted to be a visionary leader…
- I wanted to create an education academy right here in the centre of Sydney…
- I wanted to go out there, share my mission and my message with people, provide them the tools and resources that allow them to open up their heart and mind and live on purpose…
The problem is:
- Every morning I'd wake up and I’d get inside my car in Dover Heights…
- I drive through the city underneath the tunnel to North Sydney…
- I enter the office, up to the 11th floor, and there I'd sit - doing my recruitment job day in and day out…
Sure I had a nice view of the harbor… and the bridge… and it was an incredible office space… but the fact that it wasn't what I love.
I kept telling everybody, "I'm gonna open up this education facility, be a coach, be a healer, go out there and share my message". I kept saying it then one day I thought to myself "Is this just a lie? Am I just telling myself a story to make me feel better about the fact that I'm not really doing what I was born to do?”
I was a bit shocked! I don't know if you have one of those epiphanies, where you start to realize that maybe this story that you are telling may not ever eventuate? It's not a nice place to be in - I started to sit in and ask myself "Why is it day after day that I’m driving to this recruitment job even though I know I don't like it?”. There's nothing wrong with recruitment, it's just not my mission in life, not my purpose, not what I was born to do.
I had to ask myself, what would it take?
What has to happen for me to leave my job and start my journey doing what I love - being a visionary leader, going out there and making a real difference in the world?
It took me some soul searching, it took me a little bit of time to really think it through, but the fact is, what I discovered was that I needed permission!
We don't think "Hey! I need to get permission to someone", but the fact is we are constantly seeking approval from others and we are petrified at being rejected by the people that we know, and so quite often, we develop this belief that we need a "permission slip" from somebody to let us do what we naturally know is right for us to do, to go out there and live our purpose.
I don't know whom the permission slip has to come from in your life, but it's something you need to think a little bit about because until you give yourself permission, nothing else is really going to happen.
Here's a piece of advice: List all the people you think you need permission from!
For me, it was:
- My father,
- and my big brother
I felt like I had permission from my older sister and my mom; but from some reason, I unconsciously was waiting for my brother and my father to walk up to me and say "Ben, it's okay to go out there and be successful", "Ben it's okay to do what you love", "Ben it's okay to get out there and start being an inspiration and start making a difference".
One day, I sat down with my dad and told him this, he thought it was one of the funniest things he has ever heard! He probably can't recall the conversation, but for me it's quite a meaningful thing. When he found humour in it, I started to laugh at myself realizing "What was I thinking all these years? I've been waiting for someone else to give me permission to do what I love?”
It's kind of an insane thought but when you're stuck in it, you don't quite realize just how confining it really is.
So Give Yourself Permission!
You are allowed! I'm giving you permission right now!
You can now go out there and do what you love and share your message.
You can create incredibly inspiring products and services.
You can go out there and help people live the most inspired life, turn your hobby into a lifestyle and live that forever.
You are allowed to do that!
Read more about: Mindset